It’s been awhile, everyone.
I’ve been around, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to blog for pretty personal and fairly serious reasons surrounding some events that happened in July. Life moves on, though. In the last months, I was employed… And now unemployed again, and I formatted Fugitive Rising, which is getting ready to publish in January.
I did finally meet my July goals for gaming, at least in regards of finishing up SWTOR and getting Legendary Status, and everything around me, as always, continues to change.
Some things, though, stay the same.
Most troubling are my insecurities.
Self-loathing and flagellation continue to be daily rituals, though ones I’m slowly learning to overcome with the careful application of meditation and mindfulness I’ve officially received diagnoses on a few things that have helped me gain perspective on those same old things.
Thankfully, I’ve known the loyalty of true friends seldom changes, and that such grounding presences can help me maintain my sense of stability. I’ve struggled on and off with this inability I have to trust people and be honest with them, bu I’m learning slowly the faithful and kind don’t abandon you just because part of your reality is unpleasant.
So yes, a lot has changed, including me.
I’m never going to be the same person who started this blog, but I think that’s okay, because I’m learning to accept that some change — even in myself — can be good.
And with that comes change in the way I write, though not in what I’m writing.
I’ve really been forced to evaluate what writing means to me and why I do it, and have learned that I do it for myself as much as I do it for other people. Communication may be useless without an audience, but it equally useless without a message to communicate.
I want to communicate with all of you more clearly now.
I want you to hear my words and understand them.
Each person who is a part of my audience has a story to tell me, and can take something different from all of my stories. I want to communicate to you so many wonderful things, and the best way to do that is to be honest and forthright.
With that in mind, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for being here and reading what I do write.
Hopefully, in the future, I’ll have some better content.